Thursday, September 5, 2013

5 Ways For Foreign Girls To Attract Japanese Guys... My Take

A few days ago, an article called 5 Ways For Foreign Girls To Attract Japanese Guys was posted on a website that reports stories from mostly Japanese sources. I thought the article was completely ridiculous and I felt quite infuriated. Please note that I don't blame the author of that English piece in any way: she was merely reporting what was said on a Japanese website called Madame Riri (you can read the original article in Japanese) and she even herself added that it seems like a guide on how to become a stereotypical Japanese woman.

I'm reposting the article here with some notes and observations.

5 Ways For Foreign Girls To Attract Japanese Guys

1. Beautiful skin
Japanese guys will immediately notice the quality of your skin. Clear, white skin is the essence of beauty in Japan; if you’ve ever been to a beauty counter in Japan you’ll have seen the amount of potions and lotions promising whiter, brighter skin. Why are fair-skinned girls considered beautiful? According to one girl’s analysis, white skin is associated with purity, innocence and youth. As there is great importance attached to a woman’s youth, or at least appearance of youth, if you want to bag yourself a Japanese man then you first need to get that “perfect” skin.
Notes: Japanese guys do like healthy skin, yes, but who doesn't? Skincare is very important in Japan indeed, but 'light' skin?! Many Japanese guys actually seem to prefer darker skin tones, and not all of them are into "purity, innocence and youth".
2. Quiet down
Personality is also key! Here’s just a few adjectives that Madame Riri takes careful note of:“gracious, respectful, modest, slightly demure, innocent, friendly, approachable, sensitive.” Apparently the most important attribute, however, is shyness. Acting shy will make you seem “cute”, and being a “cute girl” is what many Japanese girls strive to be.
Japanese people show their feelings through actions rather than words. Whereas in many Western countries it wouldn’t be shocking for a girl to come out and say “I like you” straight to a guy’s face, in Japan this is still considered rather unconventional. The preferred route, our expert tells us, is for the girl to act shy, which ups their cuteness factor and makes it easier for the guy to approach them. If a girl doesn’t speak up around you it’s not because she’s not interested – far from it! She just knows that the way to a guy’s heart is to shut up and let him make the moves. The writer says that compared to Western guys, the average Japanese man is far shyer, so you’ll have to adjust your own “shyness level” to match his. Being your usual flirty foreigner self-will just drive him away.
Notes: This is probably the worst part of the article. I don't know any foreign girl who got a Japanese guy by letting him make the moves! And shutting up? Maybe if you want one of those boring, controlling boyfriends. Any cool Japanese guy loves a girl with an opinion, a sense of humour and great energy and enthusiasm.
3. Feminine style
So you’ve already prettied up your skin and changed your personality, but you’re still not done yet. Next up is personal appearance. It may be the opposite to what you’d expect, but try not to wear revealing clothes. You might think it ridiculous to change your style in order to get a guy, but if you’re serious about wanting a Japanese boyfriend, you’re going to need to think about how you wear your clothes. Of course personal hygiene is also very important, as is having clean soft hair, and natural looking make-up, but don’t even think about leaving the house with the goods on show if you’re trying to bag yourself a man.
Notes: My boyfriend begs me to wear more jeans, tank tops and edgy pieces. Many Japanese guys I know hate that overly feminine style. However, clean soft hair and natural-looking makeup is totally true, but then again, isn't it the same for any guy? Who wants to date a girl with clown makeup and damaged hair?
4. Slim down
As if we hadn’t already got controversial enough, this one’s sure to get a few readers seething. While stating that of course different individuals have different tastes, this girl is adamant that the average Japanese guy prefers slim girls. Japan is as diet-mad as any other developed country, but the difference here is that most people don’t really need to diet – most Japanese girls are already very slim.
Apparently a slim body makes a girl look more cute and fragile. Most guys want a girl who is smaller than themselves so they can feel manly and protective, and as most Japanese guys are themselves quite slim, their girls have to get pretty tiny. However, when it comes to height it seems like there’s no defining trend; some guys like their girls short, others like them tall. The same goes for bust size. In the West we’re used to big breasts being – on the whole – the way to go, but a guy here is less likely to mention a huge pair of knockers when asked what he would want in his ideal woman.
Notes: Many many many many Japanese men like curves and actively seek that.
5. Pull, don’t push
Don’t pressure him! And don’t be too forward with your flirting – keep it subtle. You need to be shy and retiring, remember. The advice Madame Riri puts forward is to pull rather than push him towards you. This is probably the essence of her advice; that foreigners can be too brash and in-your-face for the average Japanese man, who wants a meek, quiet lady on his arm, at least in the beginning when trying to make their approach and tensions are high.
Notes: Then again, Japanese guys are just regular guys, and this applies to any relationship, doesn't it? No one wants to date a pushy, pressuring girl.

All in all, the original article was full of ridiculous statements, and those are supporting the stereotypes about foreign women being too fat and obnoxious to date Japanese guys. Like I said before in my post Foreign Girls Dating in Japan, boys are boys no matter their culture, and it's not rocket science. While some of them may be a little on the shy side, boys are boys everywhere in the world, they want the same thing in the end, and that's what any foreign girl who wants to date a Japanese man should keep in mind. Any thoughts?