Monday, July 6, 2009


Seoul, February 2009, on a taxi back to my apartment.

"The driver is playing awful Korean pop music. It's ruining my night..." I texted him. He texted back: "Just listen to your iPod". So I put on my headphones, and the first song that came on was this one, that he had put on my iPod a few days before. I had never heard it, but I thought it was brilliant. And I listened to it over and over, during the long taxi ride that took me across the Han River, as I looked out the bright lights of Seoul. Knowing I was leaving in a few days, and knowing everything would never be the same again. Finally enjoying living in Seoul, appreciating every little thing about that amazing city. Knowing I'd miss it terribly, thinking whatever happened in Korea wasn't real life, knowing life back home would be difficult for a while, and knowing how lucky I was to have experienced that year abroad. Trying to never forget what I felt like at the moment.

A few days later, reality hit. Hard. Unfortunately, everything that happened in Korea was real, and it would not let go for several months, making life in Montreal just so hard to deal with.

This song will always remind me of Seoul. And everything that happened, good and bad. And all of the consequences that came with it. And it's time to officially move on now, after trying and trying, and accept that some things just cannot work out. And it will be good. Cheers to summer in Montreal, and making challenging plans for after. To be continued.

8 comments:

Roberte said...

And the name of the song is?

Vivian said...

Band of Horses- The Funeral :)

Kelly said...

this is amazing. i love it :)
it touches you and gives the chills!

thevoyageofv said...

Vivian, we are so similar it's weird. I'm trying to move on from things that happened in the last six months (and those six months were just the culmination of the six years prior). It's so hard, but it's like you say good things happen and bad things happen and no matter how hard you try, some things just aren't meant to work. It sucks.
But it seems like life is really good for you now. It's just a matter of time until that thing does work. Just not in the way you'd originally planned on. I keep telling myself this.

Clarity said...

I was so moved reading that, I felt like I was right in the car with you, I also didn't yet want to click the song so I could experience your words as are, no soundtrack.

Seoul sounds so intriguing, please post more about it. I hope that your happiness reaches you soon. Real life is all the more beautiful when we are tested sometimes. Be happy, keep strong, x

Stephanie Morris said...

Thank you for this post Vivian.

I'm still here. 6 weeks today I won't be.

I'm trying to take in every moment. It's hard sometimes. There's just so much.

This place, this life, it can take your breath away sometimes, if you let it. It can cut you. Deep.

But in the good way:)
Cheers to you my fellow Seoulite.

seasonal lust said...

I love that song!! I remember recommending it to you but not realizing you've heard it before until this post. wonderful moment with a wonderful song.

Melvin said...

Amazing pics ...
thanks for sharing...

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Melvin
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