Thursday, June 4, 2009

On Friends

No, this post is not about my favourite TV show, but about actual friendships. Mine changed quite a bit since Korea. While living abroad, it seemed to easy to make new friends, and especially meet people I could relate to. After all, all the friends I met in Seoul were there for the same reasons I was, and we all shared the same sense of adventure. I met all my girl friends on a discussion board for ESL teachers (as dorky as it sounds... it was the place to share useful info, such as "I found chick peas in Itaewon for 5$ a can", or "Where can I get a bikini wax", or "What is the most annoying thing about Korea". I met up with girls who shared the same love for Sunday brunches, classy drinks, museums, expensive coffees, and shopping. We'd try new shops and cafés every weekend, and I was always out and about.

Coming back to Montreal made me re-evaluate my friendships here. Maybe I had changed too much, or maybe some of my friends were judgemental of my life choices (my traveling, my love life even), or perhaps felt uncomfortable? I don't know. I found myself missing my Seoul friends, and missing always trying new things and being out. True, Montreal is much smaller, but there are still many things to try. And it's kind of sad to realize you can't really relate to some of your friends, even though nothing bad ever happened. On the other hand, I am now getting closer to some friends I never really hung out with before, because we feel like we relate right now. But yes, it still sucks a bit. That was my rant of the day. Anyone had similar experiences?

{music festivals...}

{drinking...}

{brunches...}

{coffees...}

8 comments:

Kelly said...

First off, you're adorable..loving the pictures. And yes, I feel you on changing and becoming a different person to where you don't relate as much to old friends. It happens to everyone! I think that Korea and any other adventure is so wonderful because it contributes to who you are even if the outcome is unfortunately the price of a friendship.

Don't surround yourself with people that make you feel judged on important factors of your life and don't share the same interests. I agree with working on these new friendships and bowing out gracefully on the old -- then there's no unnecessary hard feelings.

Keep your chin up :)

Nicole Marie said...

friends come and go as we realize who we are, what we want in life, and what kind of people we want to surround ourselves with. I think its great that you're reevaluating friendships. Sometimes people just grow apart. And who knows some of those friends may later on begin to share your same interests and you may rekindle some friendships!

Chelsea Talks Smack said...

just found your blog and I really love it so I wanted to say hey and I look forward to reading more!

thevoyageofv said...

I've had the same experiences. I think it's only natural to go through that. People change and evolve. Though some people don't evolve at all... Which is where things may have gotten tricky for you. You have done so much and some of your friends may not have been able to relate to that, you know? But the most important friends are the ones who stick around through all the seasons of your life.

seasonal lust said...

im sorry you are experiencing a drift among some friends, but think of it as a sign of progress; as the faces change, it means you are changing, expanding and growing as well. =)

stacey said...

is it weird when you think it might affect you and the lover? love the blog. keep it up.

Sheila said...

You certainly learn a lot about your friends back home as much as you learn about yourself whilst living abroad. And I have to admit, I'm somewhat heartbroken by some "lost" friendships as a result of my move (although only temporary). I've also learned that those whose friendships I thought ran deep, actually run shallow. I agree with THEVOYAGEOFV. The friends who stick with you through the tough, changing times are the ones who matter.

Melvin said...

great to see this...
thanks for sharing....

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